Funny Stories

Ibn al-Jawzi narrated this funny incident :

دخلت عجوز على قوم تعزيهم بميت فرأت في الدار عليلا فرجعت وقالت أنا والله يشق علي المشي وأحسن الله عزاءكم في هذا العليل أيضا

An old woman visited some people to give them condolences on the passing away of one of their family members.
As she was leaving, she saw another sick person in that house.
She turned around and said: “Walking back and forth is difficult for me, so I offer my condolences for this patient in advance.”

[“Akhbar al-Hamqa”, 1/161].

He also narrates:

دخل أحمق على مريض فقال‏:‏ إذا رأيتم المريض على هذه الحال فاغسلوا أيديكم منه‏.‏

A fool entered upon a sick person and said to his relatives: “When you see a sick person in this state, wash your hands from him.”