Ask About Beauty First

Marriage: Ask about Beauty First – الإمام أحمد

Imam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal said:

إذَا خَطَبَ رَجُلٌ امْرَأَةً سَأَلَ عَنْ جَمَالِهَا أَوَّلًا.
فَإِنْ حُمِدَ: سَأَلَ عَنْ دِينِهَا.
فَإِنْ حُمِدَ: تَزَوَّجَ، وَإِنْ لَمْ يُحْمَدْ: يَكُونُ رَدُّهُ لِأَجْلِ الدِّينِ.
وَلَا يَسْأَلُ أَوَّلًا عَنْ الدِّينِ، فَإِنْ حُمِدَ سَأَلَ عَنْ الْجَمَالِ.
فَإِنْ لَمْ يُحْمَدْ رَدَّهَا. فَيَكُونُ رَدُّهُ لِلْجَمَالِ لَا لِلدِّينِ

“When a man proposes marriage to a woman, he should first ask about her beauty.
If praised, then he should ask about her religion.
If praised, then he should marry her.
If [her religion] is not praised, then his rejection is due to religion.
[A person proposing] should not first ask about religion, for if praised, then he asks about beauty.
If [the beauty] is not praised and he rejects her, then his rejection of her will be due to beauty and not religion.”

[“Al-Insaaf”, 8/19].

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Some people misunderstand that Hadith about women getting married for 4 reasons – they think ONLY Religion is important.

That’s not what that Hadith means.

That Hadith means: Religion is the MOST important factor, and NOT that it is the ONLY important factor.

It is also important that BOTH husband AND wife find each other physically attractive.

Ibn Qudamah says in ‘al-Mughni’, (5347):

وَيَخْتَارُ الْجَمِيلَةَ ؛ لِأَنَّهَا أَسْكَنُ لِنَفْسِهِ ، وَأَغَضُّ لِبَصَرِهِ ، وَأَكْمَلُ لِمَوَدَّتِهِ ، وَلِذَلِكَ شُرِعَ النَّظَرُ قَبْلَ النِّكَاحِ .
“He should choose a beautiful woman, because she will give him a greater sense of tranquillity, and is more likely to help him lower his gaze and there will be more love between them.
This is why the Shariah allowed one to look at their fiancee before marriage.”

End Quote.

Likewise, women should choose a husband that they are attracted to.

But beauty without Religion is useless.