Good Manners
From the etiquette’s of good manners is not to criticise people personally, but to tell them things indirectly.
There is a proverb that says:
أكلمك يا بنتي
وأسمعك يا كنتي
‘𝗜’𝗺 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗺𝘆 𝗱𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗲𝗿,
𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿, 𝗺𝘆 𝗱𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗲𝗿-𝗶𝗻-𝗹𝗮𝘄!’
When people are told things personally, they often become defensive and it creates tensions. If they’re told indirectly, they will absorb it and act on it.
The Prophet ﷺ would also use this tactic:
كَانَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِذَا بَلَغَهُ عَنِ الرَّجُلِ الشَّىْءُ لَمْ يَقُلْ مَا بَالُ فُلاَنٍ يَقُولُ وَلَكِنْ يَقُولُ “ مَا بَالُ أَقْوَامٍ يَقُولُونَ كَذَا وَكَذَا ” .
𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗵𝗲𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗮 𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝗮𝗻, 𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝘆: ‘𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗼 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝘀?’ 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘀𝗮𝘆: ‘𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗵?’
[“Abu Dawud”, 4788 – صحيح].
https://sunnah.com/abudawud:4788
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