Practising Children, Clashing With Parents

Abraham said to his polytheist father:
يَٓأَبَتِ إِنِّى قَدْ جَآءَنِى مِنَ ٱلْعِلْمِ مَا لَمْ يَأْتِكَ
‘𝗢 𝗺𝘆 𝗳𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂.’ [Qur’an 19:43].

Imam Abdur-Rahman al-Sa’di writes:
فإنه لم يقل: ” يا أبت أنا عالم، وأنت جاهل ” أو ” ليس عندك من العلم شيء ” وإنما أتى بصيغة تقتضي أن عندي وعندك علما، وأن الذي وصل إلي لم يصل إليك
‘𝗔𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗵𝗮𝗺 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝘆: ‘𝗢 𝗺𝘆 𝗳𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿, 𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘁’, 𝗻𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝘆: ‘𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗹…’
𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱, 𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗹: 𝘄𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂.’
[‘Taysir al-Karim’, 494].

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There is a way of saying things ……

When the youth start practising religion, they become overzealous and arrogant. They start arguing with their parents. They scold their old father for shaving his beard, considering him a faasiq sinner, and say that praying behind them is disliked…

Their parents may be innocently following some old traditions, which they believe are true, or rely on verbal narrations that may be unfounded like ‘seek knowledge, even if its as far as China’ – so these kids read on the internet that this narration is unfounded. They get trigger happy and try to overpower their parents by saying: ‘that hadith is fabricated! you don’t know!’

And when they make the situation difficult and messy due to their own foolishness and bad behaviour, the Shaytaan comes to them saying: ‘Be patient, this path is a difficult one! the Prophet’s faced hardships from their people. Stand with the truth, even if you are alone. Paradise is for the Ghurabaa [strangers]! Islam will become like a coal….’

The devil then makes them think that their self-inflicted pain is not caused by their own ignorance but that it is caused by their adherence to Islam! And that their families don’t really oppose them, but that they actually oppose Islam!

They use harsh words against the mother who taught them speech… the father who gave Adhan in their ears when they wore nappies, is now an enemy of God.

What these kids don’t realise is… if they had applied wisdom and if they had any manners, they would have avoided most of these problems. And due to their bad conduct, the people around them start hating Islam.

The Prophet was sent to perfect manners.

وَمَن يُؤْتَ الْحِكْمَةَ فَقَدْ أُوتِيَ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا ۗ
‘𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗼𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘀𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱.’ [Qur’an 2:269].