Category: Humour

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Ibn al-Jawzi mentions a funny incident: وكان لبعض المغفلين حمار فمرض الحمار، فنذر إن عوفي حماره صام عشرة أيام فعوفي الحمار فصام، فلما تمت مات الحمار فقال: يا ربت تلهيت بي! ولكن رمضان إلى هنا يجيء والله لآخذن من نقاوته عشرة أيام لا أصومها. A...

A man was dressed posh, but talked nonsense. A Bedouin said to him: ‎يا هذا تكلم على قدر ثيابك ‎أو الْبَس على قدر كلامك ‘Hey you, either talk as you dress, or dress as you talk.’...

A man’s friend had a problematic wife, so he supplicated for him: ‘May Allah grant you another wife!’ His own wife started beating him... he asked why?? She said: Did you think that I was unaware of the Hadith in which the Prophet said: مَا مِنْ ع...

A man had too many guests, so he went to his neighbour and asked for an extra bed… The neighbour apologised and said: “We only have 2 beds. Me and my father-in-law sleep on one bed. My wife and my mother-in-law sleep on the other bed.” The man said...

A man saw some stoned people (using intoxicants). He said to them: Haram ‘alaikum They replied: wa ‘alaikum Haram ‎مر رجل على مجموعة من المساطيل وهو يحششون فقال لهم : حرام عليكم . ردوا عليه : وعليك...

Wife: "You are so good looking." Husband: "I wish I could say the same about you." Wife: "You could have just faked it, like I just did." قالت له : ﻛﻢ انت ﺟﻤﻴل ﻓﻘﺎل لها : ﻟﻴﺘﻚ ﺟﻤﻴلة ﻷﺑﺎﺩﻟﻚ ﻧﻔﺲ ﺍﻟﻜﻼﻡ...

A woman’s husband died, she was crying. Someone said to her: “Don’t worry, there are plenty of men, you can marry another man.” She said: “Shut up, don’t make me laugh while I’m mourning.” دیوی ښځی خاوند مړ وو ډیر یی ژړل ‎!وکی‎ یو مجرد ورته غږ کړ چی...

A “saint” was telling his student that he has knowledge of the unseen (علم الغیب). Suddenly, someone knocked on the door. He said to his student: “Go and check whose at the door.” His students said: “Why don’t you use your knowledge of the unseen to ...

A wise man once said: إذا طلبت امك ادخال الخيط بالابرة فتمهل كي لا تحس بأنها كبرت "If your elderly mother asks you to insert the thread into the needle, take a long time, so that she doesn't feel like she's too old..." A young girl ...

A beggar knocked on a door and said: "I need bread please!" A man shouted back to him from inside the house, saying: "Go away, the women are not home!" The beggar said: "I need bread, not a kiss." مردی فقیری پشت دروازه یک خانه رسید و صدا زد! یک توته...