Category: Humour

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A man claimed prophethood at the time of Caliph Mamoon. Mamoon asked: “What is your miracle?” The man replied: “Ask me anything you want.” Mamoon had a lock in his hand and said: “Open this lock without a key.” The man said: “I’m a Prophet, not a loc...

The innocence of children ... A cleric was invited to a give a speech in a new city. He was lost and asked a child: "Which way is the Mosque?" The child showed him the way. The cleric said to the child: "Why don't you also come to the Mosque and att...

In 1919, the British government in India was concerned about the number of venomous cobras in Delhi. They introduced an incentive to pay a bounty for every dead cobra. Initially it worked, people were killing cobras to get paid - but this eventually ...

A fox tried to act friendly with a Lion. The Lion asked: "Do I know you?" The fox said: "Of course! Don't you recognise me?!" The Lion replied: "No." The fox said: "We were good friends! Remember?!" The Lion replied: "No." The fox said: كنتُ مثلك أسد...

A group of people were eating. A Bedouin greeted them and started eating with them. They had no idea who he was. They asked: "Do you know us?" He pointed at a plate of food and said: "I know this." مر أعرابي على قوم لم يعرفهم وهم يأكلون فسلّم وجلس ي...

*Dajjal Arives* Liberal Muslim starts fund raising for his eye operation. [hesitates to make Takfir on Dajjal] Conservative Muslim: "Bro, it literally says K.A.F.I.R… 'كافر' on his forehead………." Liberal Muslim: "Only God can judge! We don't know ...

A man asked a miller: "Why have you tied a bell around the neck of this donkey?" The miller replied: "When I hear the bell, I know the donkey is moving. When I don't hear it, I know the donkey is standing still, so I get it moving again." The man s...

G. K. Chesterton said to G. B. Shaw: من يراك يا شو يظنّ أنّ بريطانيا في أزمة غذاء!! "When people see you, they assume there is a famine in England!" G. B. Shaw replied: ومن يراك يعرف سبب الأزمة!! "And when they see you, they assume you caused it!"...

A wise man was asked: "what is the secret to happiness?" The wise man replied: "It’s to never argue with a fool." The questioner objected: "I don't think that's the secret..." The wise man sa...

A student was weak in history, so the teacher asked him: من الذي قتل أبا جهل ؟؟ "Who killed Abu Jahl?!" The student said: 'I don't know, I swear, it wasn't me!!' The teacher took this student to the Director of the school, to highlight his ignoran...